It’s hard to believe that another regular season is in the books for the BCS Committee. From dealing with the pesky non-conference teams, to hitting the bottle when the season started to drag, the Chimps have had another wild ride. And who can forget the addition of the lovely new secretary, Jenny. But yesterday was […]
Unlike Baseball’s 162 game snoozefest or Basketball’s 5 month regular season, in College Football, every week truly counts — a single loss can spoil a team’s National Title hopes faster than Tim Tebow can say a Hail Mary. And this year, with so many teams still undefeated this late into the season, the job of […]
Anyone who’s ever worked in an office knows that the day to day grind can be pretty mundane. From hearing all about your coworker’s morning commute to counting down the minutes till 5PM, there’s not much glamour to life in the cubicle, even when your job is ranking College Football teams. So this week, we […]
It’s well documented that I’ve never been a fan of the D.C. brass, and their relentless pursuit to destroy the hard work that we here at the BCS pour ourselves into has driven me to the bottle on more than one occaison. But I’m not the only one: Ned has developed a raging case of OCD, […]
All season long, the infamous BCS Committee has been running the numbers, breaking down the schedules and, of course, throwing monkey feces at the wall. But with the release of the first official BCS rankings of 2009, the pressure’s really on the chimps to deliver the goods. The media’s homoerotic love for Tim Tebow made it […]
It’s been a long off-season for college football’s most powerful chimps, but things certainly haven’t quieted down at BCS Headquarters. Whether it’s the politicians in D.C. or the fans in Utah, there are still plenty calling for a revamped ranking system and better postseason structure. But despite the grumblings, the BCS Committee has a job […]
Point: Every great man faces challenges, and when you’re young, it’s the time to learn from your mistakes. Ronald Reagan was acting in shitty B-movies before he landed his gig in the Oval Office, and I heard that Nicolas Sarkozy was a hustler on the streets of Marseille before shacking up with a supermodel and […]
Every NFL season is full of surprises, and while the result may have been predictable this past weekend, one game did stand out: the Jets’ thrashing of the Texans, who many think are on the verge of a breakout season. But while a 1–0 start is always big for a team coming off a late […]
Only one game is in the books, but it’s already started up again. With Boise St.‘s thrashing of Oregon last night, Herbstreet and the rest of the peanut gallery are already clamoring about this year’s “BCS buster.” Can Boise St. run the table? And if they do, will they have a shot at a BCS […]
Well that was the cherry on top of a month-long shit sundae. That’s right, I’m talking about last night’s enthralling finale to the College Basketball season. I honestly tried to get excited for this game – you had the hometown underdogs, attempting to resurrect their city, against the preseason favorite. But it didn’t take five […]
Every year at this time, it’s the same thing. I wake up in the middle of the night, rush to my bathroom, and violently throw up — typically a mix of scotch and bananas. No, it’s not my acid indigestion acting up…it’s March Madness. I’ll tell you what’s “madness” – having a bracket of 65 […]
With his second Super Bowl championship in five years, Ben Roethlisberger has not only cemented himself as one of the greatest quarterbacks of our era, he’s also signaled a shift in how prospective NFL quarterbacks should be evaluated. Troy Aikman had a winning smile, and Tom Brady sure looks handsome in the pocket, but Big […]
Point: The Treasury Department should take notice: there’s one American who’s bracing himself for “The Great Recession,” and his name is Mark Sanchez. By declaring himself eligible for the NFL draft this morning, Sanchez is betting that he can beat out Georgia’s Matthew Stafford and be the first QB selected in the 2009 draft, likely […]
Tonight’s championship game pits the two best quarterbacks in the land against each other – Tebow vs. Bradford. The last time a matchup of this magnitude occurred, it was during the spring semester of my senior year at Arizona. Our fraternity was hosting its annual “pimps ‘n’ hoes” theme party, and one of my pledges […]
I’ve never understood why fans get so upset when their team is labeled the underdog. So far, in the 12 major bowl games, the “underdogs” have a record of 9–3. In fact, the only game in which the favorite outplayed their opponent was when USC dominated Penn St. in the Rose Bowl. Having studied the […]
Sure, I’ve had my disagreements with Joe Paterno in the past, but when I heard that he signed a three-year extension with Penn St., I couldn’t help but be happy for the old man. JoePa symbolizes many things – tradition, sportsmanship, respect for the game. But most of all he is a leader that anyone […]
It’s award season, from the Heisman to the Golden Globes, which means it’s time to name Mason McDermott’s “Dumbass of the Year.” Steeped in tradition, this coveted title is fit only for someone who reaches a maximum level of douchebag-ery. Past winners include Lee Corso, Charlie Weis, and Kevin Federline. And this year, it goes […]
When the 2008 Heisman finalists were announced this past week, I realized that this award has become a consolation prize for whoever feels most neglected by the BCS Committee. You guessed it, Colt McCoy’s gonna be taking home the hardware, not because he has the best numbers in the nation, but because Texas isn’t playing […]
It’s been a long season for the BCS Committee, and from well-thought out scientific formulas to “outside the box” thinking, the chimps have tried just about everything. And no matter what they’ve done, the haters never seem to leave them alone. But now that it’s the end of the season, the most important decision of […]
