Conference Championship QBs: The Sexy Side of Things
“Say my name, Colts fans…”
It’s common knowledge that Mark Sanchez’s nickname, “Dirty,” is derived from one of the more famous (or should we say infmaous) sexual acts known to man. But were you aware that all of the starting quarterbacks on the remaining NFL teams are associated with equally disturbing sexual maneuvers?
You weren’t? Well, we’re about to make this Sunday’s conference championship games a whole lot more interesting…
Peyton Manning: Despite Peyton’s all-american personality, and “aw shucks” demeanor, the golden boy himself has a nasty streak.
“Seriously, Peyton…never do that again.”
In fact, “the Manning Man Hug,” also known as the “Indianapolis Camel Hugger” was made famous when Eli was drafted first overall in the 2004 draft. You might not have known it at the time, but when Peyton was wrapping his arms around his brother, the funny look on Eli’s face was due to the fact that he had a toy car shoved up his crotch just moments before.
(ed. note: Evidently, Jeff Saturday is also a big fan of the “Manning Man Hug”)
Drew Brees: Sure Brees has changed the culture of the Saints, and he’s the type of leader you just can’t help but rally behind…but like most athletes these days, he’s got a dark side as well.
“When you play with fire, sometimes you get burned…”
You know that mysterious mole on Brees’ face? He claims it’s a birthmark, but a reliable source tells us that it was due to an uncontrollable “Brees Brushfire,” also known as a “Cajun Forest Fire.” It’s a risky move, but you gotta respect Brees’ commitment to finishing the job.
Brett Favre: We know what you’re thinking — Brett Favre? Doesn’t he have old man balls by now?
Well, the answer to that is yes. But that doesn’t stop him from enjoying himself every now and then. This is Brett fuckin’ Favre we’re talking about! The legend!
“A cold glass of Kool-Aid always puts a smile on my face!”
Even though the good old boy is from balmy Mississippi, he’s always enjoyed staying cool. That’s why he loved Green Bay, and that’s why Wrangler Jeans breathe so damn well. So when the temperature rises and Brett starts schvitzing, he never hesitates to go with “Favre’s Freezer,” also known as the “Mississippi Birdbath.” That’s why he always keeps some cold Kool-Aid in the fridge.
Category: Football