Last week we took a look at the origins of the legendary Manning family, and, not surprisingly, we discovered that Peyton’s been making Eli look like an uncoordinated dimwit since the dawn of time.
But the elder brother hasn’t just asserted his dominance on the football field, nay, Peyton’s superiority is most obvious when on the TV screen. And with the Mannings pitching everything from credit cards to cookies nowadays, we thought we’d run down the sibling rivalry through the lens of our favorite (and most cringeworthy) made-for-TV Manning moments.
We’ll begin our visual tour by demonstrating the role that each Manning brother prefers to play. Peyton often comes off as the man you respect…the man who gives you advice you need to hear…
While Eli can even make a Toyota salesman think he’s a toolbox.
So what happens when the Mannings team up on screen? Various degrees of success. Given Peyton’s success with no-name receivers named Pierre and Austin, he’s rightly been looked at as a player who raises the talent level of those around him — he makes others better. And lo and behold, he’s so good he can even sometimes help Eli make it off the cutting room floor.
But every now and then, Peyton’s perfectly timed pass will bounce right off his receiver’s hands. Similarly, at times Peyton can’t help the train wreck of a pitchman that Eli is.
Or worse, combine Eli’s shitty acting chops with equally bad writing. What sense does this commercial make when it doesn’t even identify Eli as a New York Giant, or even as a member of the NFL? Not everyone is as familiar with Eli’s goofy droop-face as us.
When you’ve been blessed with the Manning genes, there is never, ever an excuse to deliver something as bad as this.
Thankfully, just when you thought Eli went too far, and the Mannings would never find redemption, Peyton goes out and puts on the single greatest acting performance by an athlete since Lawrence Taylor appeared in The Waterboy.