Monday Night Massacre

Tonight’s game between the New Orleans Saints (6–0) and Atlanta Falcons(4–2) is the rare NFL mirage. Touted as a match to decide the power struggle atop the NFC South, we think it’ll be a massacre.  Don’t let the paunch and nerdy visor confuse you — Sean Payton and the Saints are going to violently attack every weakness in the Falcons secondary tonight, Tom Cable-style.

“You’re my best CB?!? Well, shit…”

There’s piles of statistics on this, but let’s just consider two things. First, the Cowboys’ offense — aka Tony & the Romosexuals — tore up the Falcons in Week 7 for 311 yards and 3 TDs. Giving up that many points to a wideout corps which consists of a bunch of hobos you’ve never heard of — Miles Austin and his teeth excluded — is never a good sign. And now the Falcons are up against an offense that’s putting up points so fast that greedy fantasy owners everywhere are scurrying in their cubicles to pick up unknowns like Robert Meachem and Heath Evans.

So unless you’re a masochistic Falcons fan who enjoys suffering, and perhaps even cuts themselves during games, we’d recommend just having the score alerts sent to your phone and be done with it.

Tags: masochistic Falcons fans - welcome!, Miles Austin and his Teeth, Monday Night Massacre, Sean Payton will fuck you up, Tony and the Romosexuals

Category: Football