Steroids, HGH, or female fertility drugs…it’s all old news. But leave it to a Dallas Cowboy to take it one step further.
Ever since the Michael Irvin days, recreational drugs have seemed to find their way into the Cowboy locker room. But when I read Martellus Bennett’s recent blog post, courtesy of The Dallas Morning News, I was flabbergasted:
We took a raft to the shore, I immediately saw huge footprints on the beach kinda freaked me out. And thats when I saw it the T-Rex running wild, I screamed like a person getting called down on the price is right, I began to run like i was running a vertical route for he game winner in the super bowl. I hid in the shrubs and pulled out my Harry Potter invisible cloak, i was safe. I got up and tiptoed outta the shrubs and into the woods and thats when i saw them. The Dinosaurs!! I discovered em all by myself, since i was invisible i decided to walk closer. I used my #2 pencil to carve my initials into the back of a Saurornithoides it slapped me with his tail so i slapped it back Ike Turner style and it took off running.
I’m hoping that Martellus got hit in the head one time too many in the Eagles 44–6 drubbing of the Cowboys last season. Because if not, the NFL better start testing for Peyote.