When I lost my job because of “decreased productivity” last year, my wife kicked me out of the house. When my friend Greg saw me panhandling to get a few minutes of Internet time, he told me I was nuts. And these days, when people see me approaching on the street, they tend to look […]
It has often been said that “behind every great man stands a great woman.” And we don’t necessarily disagree. But our own Zachary “Z-man” Rubenstein has his own saying that he’s looking to coin, and he knows from experience that it’s true: an agent is only as good as his assistant.
At the start of the 2009 baseball season, it seemed that America’s pastime was moving beyond the steroid era. Gone were the biceps of Giambi and the headlines about Bonds. But then came the surprise suspension of Manny Ramirez and the infamous Roger Clemens interview, which confirmed that the Rocket clearly “misremembered” his high school […]
When I woke up this morning, I knew it was going to be a glorious day. The dumpster I slept next to was filled with a recyclable goods ripe for the picking, the sun was shining, and I’d snuck into my buddy Greg’s basement last night to set my lineup because the games started at […]
I woke up on the wrong side of the bed today. Fine, it was a cot, not a bed, and that sketchy guy from the shelter who smells like burnt hair was sharing it with me, so I really only had one side that I could wake up on. But that’s not the point. The […]
If you play fantasy sports with any degree of seriousness, you know how time-consuming it can be. For some people it can even go beyond a simple hobby, such as the case of Norm Brooks, who has been battling his fantasy sports addiction for almost a full year now. So with baseball season in full […]
This summer, when it became clear that a certain Florida Marlin was going to be the consensus #1 fantasy draft pick, even in my hometown of St. Louis, something felt off…and it wasn’t the fact that I hadn’t had a square meal in 3 weeks. It was the fact that the most talented, most consistent, […]
I know you’ve been calling him. I know you’ve been showing up at his doorstep early in the morning, late at night, throwing rocks at his window as he tries to get some shuteye. Shit, he even told me one of your cronies did his math homework last night. Not cool, Scotty. Where I come […]
When you’re a globetrotting super-agent like Zachary “Z-man” Rubenstein, you can’t put boundaries on where you look for talent. Just like Boras and the other big leaguers, Z-man knows that the game is growing more international by the day. There are certain places everyone knows about — the Dominican Republic, Tokyo, maybe Venezuela — but […]
In business, the way you look is of the utmost importance. First impressions can’t be altered, and if you go to a meeting looking like a slob, your chances for success are drastically reduced. So while he may not be wearing Bernini shirts and chatting on a diamond-encrusted bluetooth like Scott Boras (yet), our own […]
For all the bad that you hear associated with the Boras name, it’s nice to see a moment like this, when the super-agent himself shows a bit of vulnerability. Let’s not forget that agents are real people, too. Shit, even I cried when Jason Taylor was eliminated from Dancing with the Stars…
Brush the dust off your glove, pop some sunflower seeds in your mouth, and be sure to apply that alcohol swab before performing any injections. That’s right, it’s time for some baseball. But not only is it baseball season, it’s almost Easter. So with that in mind, Jesus offers up his thoughts on New York’s […]
Not only did I have the last pick in the first round, but of course I picked CC Sabathia with my first choice. Of fuckin’ course. Let’s take a look at his craptastic Opening Day Stats. Everybody knows the hype that surrounds this guy. On the field, the 265-pounder is an intimidating presence – the […]
You heard it here first: Peter Gammons has been juicing. I thought it was a little suspicious that a guy pushing sixty-five could bounce back from a brain aneurysm as fast as he did. Either this guy is superhuman, or he was putting something special in his Wheaties. Well, this morning, while being interviewed about […]
There’s a lot to love about Manny Ramirez: the smooth swing, the sense of humor, the gorgeous flowing locks. But the reason why the Dodgers and Manny finally came to terms isn’t because of his abilities – it’s because of Scott Boras. In ’06, my sister’s soccer coach put her on the bench after drawing […]
With everyone from Phil Mickelson to Jack Nicklaus lining up to jerk Tiger off, it seemed his return to golf could cure all our nation’s ills in one clean sweep. Tiger would win dramatically, Wall Street would get its act together, and the homeless shelter would finally get the Wi-Fi I’ve been asking for. But […]
Can you hit a 100 mph fastball over 400 feet without trying? Didn’t think so. So let’s stop this “how can Manny turn down so much money in this economic climate” bitching. We’re not talking about an assembly line worker here. We’re talking about a one-of-a-kind, irreplaceable talent. A talent that will pay for his […]
“It’s been a difficult several weeks and it’s been very painful for me and my family. I’m here to take my medicine” — Alex Rodriguez After hiring two PR firms and flying in Boras from Hermosa Beach, this is the best you can come up with, Alex? Are we really supposed to believe that a […]
I’ll admit it, I love A-Rod. Absolutely love the guy. He carried my fantasy squad in 2007, and if it weren’t for him I woulda never made the playoffs last year. So obviously, I hitchhiked down to Tampa this past weekend to attend today’s press conference. And guess what? Those self-righteous fucks didn’t even let […]
After botching the Manny Ramirez deal beyond repair, it hasn’t been easy going recently for Scott Boras. But even in the face of failure, Boras has managed to take his best client’s career to new heights. That’s right, I’m talking about A-Rod’s admission that he used steroids from 2001–2003. And let’s not allow the media […]
