“Bobby Cox needs a diaper change” by Norm Brooks
“I don’t know who my closer is, but I know that I have to pee again.”
First it was Mike Gonzalez, then Rafael Soriano, then back to Gonzalez…and last night, it’s back to Soriano to close the game out. Is Bobby Cox in early stage dementia? Is he sniffing glue? Or is this all just a big misunderstanding because no one can understand his mumbling Georgia drawl through the bullpen phone?
Cox is a lot like Harlan, the old timer down at St. Anne’s homeless shelter who keeps calling me “Daisy.” Should he have bread or crackers with his soup? Should he eat with a spoon or slurp it from the bowl? Does one go to the bathroom in the toilet or the hallway?
As someone who’s been trying to find a decent reliever all year long, Cox’s refusal to name a closer is even more frustrating than Harlan’s inability to locate the shitter. I’m tempted to add Bobby-C to the pantheon of assholes that already includes Bill Belichick and Mike Shanahan, two other coaches who are unwilling to stick with just one guy. Don’t they understand that it’s my job to win games, too?
Category: Baseball
making fun of the elderly never gets old…